I have become such a slack blogger! It was inevitable I suppose. ;)
Had a 100g loss on Saturday, but was expecting a gain so wasn't complaining. Ate too much crap on the weekend again! Argh! Must stop that.
I bought some new dresses yesterday, one is a bit too tight but it is the hottest dress I've ever owned so I feel very inspired for it to fit properly! It makes my waist look real little and makes me feel kinda 50s pinup girly. It's a black & white polka dot thing. Hott.
I swear my biggest problem with losing weight is that I start enjoying clothes shopping wayyy too much! haha
Got a really bad stomachache at about lunchtime today. I sat it out for an hour and then left work early, doubled over in pain. Came home took some buscopan and fell asleep for 3 hours. I really want this week to be spot on and was thinking my tummy had stuffed Monday! But I was feeling better after a while so I got on the tready and ran for 20 mins (it's getting easier!) and made dinner. So today has ended up being spot on - woohoo!
It's my cousin's engagement this weekend so I will be avoiding any stomach-bloating carby things.
Oh - and I've had 4 people comment on my shrinking! It makes me feel a little uncomfortable but good at the same time.
Well, my weigh-in on Saturday was 82.9 - 1.1kg loss! I wrote up a whole post on the day and then got distracted, and then Bass Boy used my computer to check his bank balance and then closed Firefox on me! I cracked it - I never close Firefox, just shut down leaving it open so I can always restore the session - I'm always clicking links in blogs and such but might not get to reading them for a few days you see.
I ate a whole heap of crap over the weekend so that was pretty stupid. I've been struggling on weekends lately. This week is going to be a bit strange because I'm staying in a hotel in the city for 2 nights - Bass Boy has a work conference and they're putting him up in a 5 star hotel! Sweet! So I don't really know how I'm going to sort out meals yet.
I've discovered that I'm most likely to take a day off exercise on Monday - but then almost as likely to also take one off on Sunday. So I really need to make sure I do it on Monday so I can take Sunday off guilt-free. Yesterday I got home, took the dog for an hour-long walk, then got on the tready for C25k (10/3/10mins). It was bin night so I changed the kitty litter and was going to go visit my folks - figuring Bass Boy could help with the rest of the rubbish later. Then I thought I could just pick up the rubbish in the lounge room (including bits of dog toy scattered everywhere). It turned into a full-on cleaning frenzy which hasn't happened in my house for a long, long time.
I feel so much better now that the house is clean! Well, the most lived in parts at least.
Hmm. I had a bit of a blow-out last night. I was just so hungry ALL. DAY. No matter what I ate! It was crazy. Nestle Diet desserts are a good low-calorie treat but er, not when you have four of them. Not all at once I should add, spread out over the day. But still! That was after the toast I had, and the two egg toasties for dinner. Who eats 6 pieces of bread in one day?! Crazy.
Anyway I felt much more sane today except for a chocolate teddy bear biscuit. They were put down right next to my bloody desk! Argh.
Went to the gym tonight - I was all tired beforehand and "I don't wannnnaaaa" but of course as soon as I'm there I enjoy it. Stupid exercise! Why can't I just always want to do you??
I found some dresses stashed away that didn't fit before and they do now. This is so much more fun than stashing clothes away while cracking the shits because they don't fit anymore! Heh.
I should really lay off the Nestles and chocolate teddy bears. Eek.
Ooh, Law & Order time.
omg I am having such a hungry day today!!! And today someone also put a box of goddamn fundraiser chocolates in the kitchen at work. As if I would have even THOUGHT about a mini-block of Crunchie chocolate if it hadn't been there! I didn't buy any, and I won't, but man, every time I went to fill up my water or make a cup of tea there it was, staring me in the face! I ended up putting a dairy milk one on top. Dairy milk - pffft! Borrring.
Anyway I got home and had some toast with honey - I was craving sweet, sweet carbs and I figured if I just had exactly what I wanted then I wouldn't go on to eat a whole bunch of other crap. And hey! It worked!
I had a rest day on Monday - it was unintentional but by the time I'd done grocery shopping, made dinner and washed my hair it was bedtime. So since yesterday was gym, today meant running. And boy did I not want to do it. I was wondering if it would be so bad to skip it and then I started trying on some too-small clothes. I only tried them on a couple of weeks ago but the difference was massive! The dress I wanted to fit into for my cousin's engagement at the end of the month - fits! Oh, except it has a dodgy zip (always has) - always gets stuck at a seam about an inch from the top (it's hidden away under the arms though). Anyway today it went right up.... AND WOULDN'T COME BACK DOWN AGAIN!!! I was seriously stuck in this dress and no one was home. I was freaking out! I didn't want to have to wreck the dress to get it off but I could not get that zip undone.
I was thinking about driving to my parent's house and getting them to help but I really didn't want to do that! In the end I got a fork and stuck a prong in the little hole on the zip - I was worried it would just break handley bit but it worked - although it got some of my skin on the way down. Ouch. Man that was terrifying. Target dresses are notorious for dodgy zips - I've been stuck in them in their dressing rooms before too.
Anyway. I was amazed at this completely visible difference in my body - I guess I never had a whole selection of too-small clothes before so I could never really see it. Oh - and today I wore a pair of jeans to work that haven't fit me for about 18 months! All of this got me on the tready. And then the bike, since I missed out on a lunchtime walk today. All good.
I dunno if I should do measurements/photos this week or next - being conscious that it's PMS time and I'll probably be bloated. Speaking of PMS, you know what I feel like eating right now? Creamy pasta! I hate pasta with creamy sauces! I haven't eaten a creamy-sauced pasta for about 8 years I reckon. wtf!!!!
Less than 6 weeks til NZ!
Have I really not posted since last Wednesday?! I didn't realise. I've been a bad blogger!
I had a pretty crap week last week. I had 3 days with no exercise and food was a bit off. I just felt like shit all week - tired, lethargic, cranky. I was meant to go to the gym on Friday but got held up at work so then got stuck in the worst of the traffic on my way home. It was cold and raining and all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep. So I did.
Saturday was an even worse day - again, I'd planned on going to the gym since I didn't go Friday but just couldn't get moving. I was crying at the drop of a hat and barely moved the whole day. Didn't even go outside. I felt a bit sick in the stomach too and hardly ate anything for the whole day.
Actually I noticed a few days of hardcore moodiness at around the same time last month - right in the middle of my cycle. Could ovulation cause such things? Hmmm. Maybe I'm just bipolar.
Yesterday I got up and got my arse down to the gym and felt on top of the world afterwards! Stupid exercise and it's happy-inducing properties! Went to Sassafras with the intentions of going to Miss Marples but there was almost a 2 hour wait so we went elsewhere instead. Had a handcrumbed parma which was very nice but what I really wanted was hot chips, thick-cut homestyle and it got served with fries. and I swear there wasn't even any potato in them. So I didn't eat them - normally I would have even though I didn't want them!
Oh yeah, I weighed in at 84 on Saturday - 500g gain. But it was back down to 83.6 yesterday so hopefully it'll drop more during the week.
I did a run on Thursday - 10/3/10 run/walk/run. I really struggled and it put me off attempting the next workout - a 25 min run. I'm still too scared! I might repeat the week and try building up to that again.
This week I have learned why it's not good to spend an entire day boozing. I'm only just feeling back to normal today! It's Wednesday! Surely it shouldn't take 3 days to recover! And I wouldn't even say entirely back to normal today, because I still really struggled to get out of bed this morning. Although that could just be because work is really pissing me off this week and I don't want to be here.
Anyway Monday became a rest day because I was tired and cranky and cold and hungry.. bit too much snacking in the afternoon...
Yesterday wasn't bad, I forced myself onto the tready after hours of whinging "I don't wannnaaaa". Of course it was exactly what I needed and made me feel a lot better.
I had an awesome dinner last night, satay chicken skewers -
- 2 Tbs peanut butter
- 1 Tbs sweet chilli sauce
- 2 Tbs soy sauce
- 2 Tbs lemon juice
- 1 clove garlic (I just used a teaspoon of the Gourmet Garden garlic paste)
- 1 tsp sugar
- 2-3 spring onions
- 400-500g chicken breast, cut into about 2cm pieces
- 6-8 bamboo skewers
- Soak the bamboo skewers in cold water.
- Mix everything except chicken in a bowl until it forms a paste - I actually used half sanitarium natural peanut butter and half kraft just to make it a bit thicker.
- Mix the chicken in until well covered, refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.
- Thread chicken pieces onto skewer and cook under a grill for about 4 minutes each side. I had my grill at 200°C.
I know I say this a lot but I really don't think I'll see a loss on the scale this week. In fact I'm pretty much resigned to a gain. D'oh! I really want to hit the 5kgs lost mark.
I survived Saturday! I didn't do too badly, really. I had 6 beers and 4 Jim Beam premixes - with sugar free cola. Of course drinking that much isn't ideal, but it's grand final day! And you know, last year I was going to "stick to the plan" - I only "allowed" myself 2 beers and I think I took my own food, and you know, I ended up drinking and eating WAY more that day than I did this time, when I allowed myself a "day off".
My lunch wasn't too bad, I had a tiny portion of our host's fried rice, a chicken & veg rissole on a wholemeal roll with salad and a gluten free sausage.
Of course I did enjoy some lollies and dark chocolate M&Ms over the course of the day, but meh. By the time it got to dinner I was at a different person's house and couldn't see straight, but I think I ate some very questionable pasta and scalloped potatoes. But only a little bit, because I felt sick from all the booze. I just figured that if I ate something I might feel better. I didn't.
Got home at midnight and passed out in bed, only to wake up at 6am on the couch. Uh oh. Sometimes after drinking I sleepwalk. Well, not really sometimes - this was the 3rd time ever, that I know of. It was the first time I've woken up somewhere other than my bed - in the past I've only found out because people have told me.
It was the scariest thing - I've never had blackouts from drinking or anything like that so to wake up somewhere different to where I fell asleep just freaked me the fuck out. Apparently I'd knocked over a bottle of water, picked it up and took it out to the kitchen to refill it. Then I came back to bed put the water bottle down, and left again. Bass Boy didn't realise I was doing this IN MY SLEEP.
Yesterday was a bit of a write-off, all carbs and too many pretzels. Meh. I resisted all urges for McDonalds cheeseburgers so I'll call it a success ;)
Weigh-in: 83.5
Woohoo! I didn't have a proper weigh-in last week so that's a kilo gone in 2 weeks - but of course there was the days of sickness in there too! So you can eat too many slices of pizza and erm, a block of chocolate and still lose weight! Well... I suppose you wouldn't want to be doing that on any kind of regular basis, but anyway.
Got to the gym nice and early this morning so I could have a chance at arriving at the GFD bbq before the game starts. Except then I waited wayyy too long for coffee at the shops and now I'm sitting here blogging instead of getting ready and it's 12pm so er.... I should get moving really. Need to wash my hair and clean out the esky and get drinks.
I realised that apart from a couple of hoodies and some workout gear (that I had to buy a few months ago when my old pants didn't fit anymore!) I haven't bought any clothes this year, due to my miserable state. And for the last few years it's become somewhat a tradition for me to buy a new outfit for the grand final, I dunno why. Anyway so I bought a dress and it's rool cute. And I feel pretty cute too.
Only 3.6kgs til I'm out of the 80s!!!
I ran for 20 minutes straight!!!!! I have never run for 20 minutes in my whole entire life! Prior to today, the longest I have ever run without stopping is 8 minutes, and I did that on Wednesday.
I thought I was going to die, and I almost stopped a couple of times but sometimes being really stubborn is handy because I just kept telling myself that I didn't want to be a quitter and I kept going.
Usually it's physical pain that makes me want to stop - running hurts! Today it was mainly for cardio fitness reasons. I was almost gasping for air by the end, but I made it! As I typed that I realised that I'm the same after an interval session on a bike/elliptical but it feels completely different to being puffed out from running for some reason.
I did it on the treadmill. Actually I've kind of gone back to the tready, partly because I chickened out, partly because I hate the only flat part around here, it's also the dodgiest part of the neighbourhood, partly because I read somewhere something about how beginners shouldn't run on concrete, and partly that combined with the fact that I have terrible, terrible shoes. I got them early 2006, they started falling apart within a few months (around the top) and now the soles are run riiiight down. I just don't want to spend money on new shoes before NZ but I also don't want to injure myself. Treadmill is a bit more cushioned.
Anyway, it's pretty warm in the house today so by the end of the 20 minutes I felt like I'd jumped in a pool. Actually, it was more like I'd done a few laps in an indoor pool - that wet, sweaty feeling. Ewwwww!
Oh, and because I'm currently a bit scale-obsessed, I decided to see how much I'd sweated out - scale said 84.0. I drank a glass of water and then it said 84.6! But the glass was only 350mls... so shouldn't it have only been 350 grams? I call shenanigans!
P.S. I got my bits waxed this morning and It seemed there was a little bit of wax left around the area of my arse crack (hott!) and so the stickiness and the running gave a bit of chafing and now my arse is killing me!
40 days! Sounds like a long time.
I forgot to post yesterday - was busy at work all day and then a friend popped round after I got back from the gym and by the time she left I was falling asleep on the couch!
I was on my lunchtime walk yesterday, thinking about what I was going to do last night when the following thought popped into my head:
"Ooh, I get to go to the gym today!"
Seriously. Not "I have to go" - "I get to go"!
I told Bass Boy and he said I was a freak. I said "I like the gym because it makes me strong and hot."
I think I should print that out and stick it somewhere for next time I don't want to go!
Of course then I had one of those really annoying gym sessions when it's not even busy but there was always someone using what I wanted to use!
However because of this I used the 45 degree leg press for the first time ever! I've always been scared of it and stuck to the seated leg press. I don't know why I've been scared of it, it's been like the one thing in the gym that I've always avoided. I liked it though and my quads are actually sore today, which they haven't been in weeks! I think I always back off a bit on the quads because I know the next day I'll be running and don't want to be too sore.
Unfortunately I feel sicker today. I've got a bit of a cough and feel a bit bleh. Nooo! I'm supposed to get BETTER!
Oh, that's right. I peeked at the scale this morning and saw 84.2! Now last week with the illness and not eating properly I saw 84.9 on the scale, but that wasn't on official weigh-in day. Last official weigh-in was 84.5. So at the moment I've either had a 300g loss or 700g loss. Either way I'm not complaining! I can't believe I can still manage a decent result after a massive binge.
I feel so different about all of this stuff than I have in a long, long time. Or maybe even ever. In the past getting sick has just thrown me right off the wagon. When I got down to my lowest weight, it was a cold that stuffed everything up - I was sick for a week and then I just was over exercise and eating well, and well, here I am 2.5 years and 10+ kilos later. Looking back at my CalorieKing weigh-ins I realised I haven't been in the 70s since late 2006. I've been bouncing around the 80s for 2 years, and this is my first time under 85 in over a year. I am ACHING to get back there. I want it so bad, more than ever. And I'm really not hating on myself as much over it as I have before.
I've been obsessively looking over old photos of myself and trying to figure out where I fit in now - because my body composition has changed so I don't know if I look the same at this weight as I did a year ago, for example. I don't want to get obsessive because it always leads to failure but I just want that feeling again, more than anything. That feeling when you walk into a shop and know that if a piece of clothing doesn't look good, it's just because it doesn't suit you, not because you're too fat for it. The first time I bought a size 10 dress. Looking at photos taken of myself and realising that my arms/legs/face are so much smaller than I've been seeing in the mirror. Knowing that bad photos are just that, bad photos, not the reality of how big I am.
I'm getting close to having lost 5kgs - I haven't lost 5kgs for 2 1/2 years. The most I have ever lost since then is 3, before gaining 4. I haven't stuck to an exercise or healthy eating plan for longer than 1.5 weeks for a year - and when I did it a year ago my heart wasn't in it.
Oh, my original point was that getting back to exercise after only taking 4 days off to sickness (and I still went for long walks on 2 of those days) is completely unheard of for me. I've never enjoyed exercise so much. I think the biggest challenge has been days where I can't be arsed cooking dinner, of which I've had a few. But I either just get on with it or whip up something quick that still fits into my plan. I know what days are the worst for me not wanting to cook and I choose things that are really quick and easy to prepare. I get up early to cook lunches for work if I haven't done it the night before. And it really has just become habit.
I want this. I really, really want this.
My cousin is having an engagement party at the end of October - I have a dress that hasn't fit me since 2006. I tried it on a couple of weeks ago and it did up and everything but was wayyyy too tight. I put it on again yesterday and it felt like it could almost be wearable. I want to wear that dress to the engagement party, and I want it to fit perfectly.
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